bits&pieces,

my whole world is changing, except for you.
you’re still there, stuck in the same old. 

 

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past & beauty,

i’m reminded of my old “box” that i left with my bestfriend many many years ago. i told her she can throw it out, but she insisted to keep just this one diary of mine for years, because she thought it was too time-invested and precious to throw out. i wonder if she still has it now. 
ever since my bestfriend left for europe by herself, i’ve been nostalgic about us, and i wish i was there with her right now, wandering the streets of england, paris mindlessly. i know something as spectacle as the sight of the sparkling eiffel tower at night would certainly make all of my useless side-thoughts to disappear.
instead, here i am, experiencing the same old. if grenada was new and exciting last august, now it’s already becoming the “same old”. nothing spectacle about that. i guess partly, it’s my fault. i’ve made it boring.
and now, i’m kind of tired of it. not necessarily of grenada. but i’m kind of tired of myself. the same old. at least years ago, when i wrote in that diary, i was still hopeful, i liked myself, actually, i really really did like myself. i liked what i saw and what i felt, and i wrote ‘em all down. one by one. it was my own fairy tale. and i was the princess. but now, it’s the reality. it’s nothing like a fairy-tale and no more fantasies. i’m disappointed, and i can’t get out of it. i feel like i’m adjusting to this grey reality, and i’m losing what i once thought was my best attribute: dreaming hopelessly.
i want to get out of here. and it drains me to know that reality tells me i can’t, and i’m stuck here.

in time:
if i really had a glowing timer counting down on my arm from the moment i turn 25, with only 24 hours left to go, and have to earn myself time to continue living, i’d throw the biggest tantrum… if time was really the new currency and my heart really stopped beating at 00:00, i wouldn’t dare waste any minute or second on that clock. i realize we often forget to appreciate for all we have, for yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and for all the countless blessings in our lives, until maybe the day we’re diagnosed with a terminal disease, or maybe when we lose something extremely important and valuable..

there are only 24 hours in a day, and i hope someday i’d be able to smile and say with confidence, today was definitely worth it.

rain & immunology:
the reflection of street light against the rain droplets on my window pane is so sparkly and pretty that i can’t stop staring at it.
i love rain - well, only when i can watch it from the inside, and not be in it. one great thing about grenada is that sometimes we’d get a series of raging thunderstorms, but mostly at night when everyone is sleeping. i think i’ve been rained on during the day only a few times so far; and even if it does, it only lasts a few minutes. so after a tranquil (well, i guess ‘eerie’ or ‘destructive’ would be more of an appropriate adjective, but it’s tranquil to me) night of thunder and rain, by early morning, the sky has cleared up usually as if nothing has happened and the clouds have fluffed up again.. oh, and the temperature feels perfect (or at least in the dry season, which is now). 

okay.. i’m not sure why i’m writing about rain at 10:20pm, when i should be studying for tomorrow’s test. but anything at this point (rain included) seems more interesting than 80-pages of repeated sentences..

..is it friday yet?

the book of eli:
i’ve actually heard about this movie a lot, but it was just one of those movies where i hesitated or dreaded to watch, just because it’s not exactly my typical genre of choice. then i got the chance to watch the movie finally, and i was blown away. i won’t even talk about denzel’s charisma or how i think he’s the handsomest middle-aged black man alive - but what really spoke to me was his character in the movie.. and it’s simple. the man loved God with all his heart, all his soul, all his mind, and all his strength. he loved and trusted God so much that, despite his blindness, he was able to see, despite his lack of everything (the movie was based on a post-apocalyptic america), he had everything. without a doubt in mind, he actively responded to his calling to “go” and have been walking the path to what seems like nowhere for 30 years - and during those 30 years of nothing but pain, he’s resided in the word every single day. like in john 1:1, in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. and after watching this movie, it hit me really hard that the end will also be the Word and the Word will still be with God. and nothing else really matters anymore..

T.I.G….

i’ve been feeling under the weather all week.
i wish it didn’t have to be now, when finals are coming up really soon.
i’m just dumping all the unnecessary misery onto myself.
there is zero thanksgiving in my heart when i’ve just had the most massive thanksgiving dinner the other day. 
it’s as if my heart has turned all smoggy and black. :(

i think.. i finally miss home and excessive parental attention.  

(Source: worldofglamour)

I’m SO ready for Christmas and SO ready for Toronto!
1 more month to go!! :) 

(Source: mochacafe.info)

suddenly nostalgic about our little trip to quebec. 
i can’t even remember how many years ago it was..
but i miss it, and i miss you girls. :( 

don’t really know where i’m headed to.
i know it’s out of my nature to just go with the flow and be spontaneous.
so it’s a little scary for me to let loose all the sudden,
and so far, every move i make is a conscious one.
but i think this is the time of my life where i need to let go, and just let the
wind take its course..
this is what i wanted, so i shouldn’t regret.
i’m just gonna go forward, and try… to not look back.

oh right… this is grenada.

(Source: 5weeth3art)

this remake movie came out in 2004, and i’ve been wanting to see it since then (mostly because i love nicole kidman, and the trailor seemed “weird”, in a good way).
anyway, i finally got around watching it, and… i’m SO DISAPPOINTED!
grr!
so i did a little research, and it turns out the actors themselves were also disappointed with the production, so much that they regretted taking part in the film! 

anyway, the original book and film are supposed to be 1000 times better, so i’m gonna find myself a copy of Ira Levin’s original The Stepford Wives (1972), which is supposed to be a SATIRICAL THRILLER, and not some weird comedy. 

blehh.. i despise watered-down remake films!!